2. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
3. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
4. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
5. Bad decisions make good stories.
6. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
7. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and runaway?
8. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
9. Is it just me or do secondary school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
10. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
11. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
12. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get up and open the door!
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