* Its a long one so maybe get a cupa tea and a ciggy. I know everyone goes through shit so this realy isnt a pitty party and im well and truely over it by now but im writing this for myself and my friends, its something that i've always delt with on my own and dont talk about so heres at.
So following on with the life story post i did a while back here goes,
so we left off at around 7, things kick off here. living in Mayo in a really old farm house on a farm, mom and dad where at each-others throats, i remember sitting outside the kitchen door screaming for them to stop shouting, and then walking in to find my dad covered in ketchup that mom had thrown all over him, dad moved into the upstairs bedroom soon after.
I asked dad why he wasnt sleeping in the same bedroom as mom, and he told me because his cows where like having the baby cows and he could hear them better if he slept there, but i clearly knew better, Most things i know about this period of my moms life i heard when i grew up.
I think as a child i didnt take much notice of it. I always had my sister so even though the roof was falling in on top of me every thing would be ok as long as i had her. I know my moms a difficult person but i know dad is a ''dick-fuck''. He went to america at some point and cheated on mom, and i dont think this was the only time. Mom used to sleep with a knife under her pillow because she felt so scared of him and his father, Who thought nothing of her and degraded her to the best of his ability.
So one day i was in school and mom came in and collected us, the car was packed full of everything and we left dad and drove to galway to stay with moms sister. It was nearing the summer hols so i didnt miss much school, We lived at my aunts for the whole summer, It really wasnt an unhappy time for me, probably because all my cousins lived in galway and I was only 8. So that was like the best thing ever.
We moved into a house in oranmore on the dublin road and stared school, 3rd class.
I remember my first day, i had a cast on my arm because i had broken it over the summer, I didnt make any friends, but i did eventually.
I know everyone just wants like the interesting details so il skip, we moved houses into an estate right across from my school.
I think this is where things started getting really bad for our new family, i.e mom me and Bronagh.
Angie, my mom, Started being really bi-polar like she would be perfectly fine one minute and the next she would want to rip your throat out and be screaming at you, im going to skip to about 1st year which is where the shit really started hitting the fan, Her drinking ''habit'' started. Every night i would find her passed out on the couch and bring her to bed. The actual screaming fights that would go on in the house, actual world war 3. Going to bed crying was a usual occurrence for me.
I started getting really depressed, at this time i was also dealing with the whole being gay thing and trying to come to terms with that, all in all i was just one big unhappy little boy.
I had no idea who i was or why i was even here. But i have a very distinct memory of lying in bed and just thinking if it gets a little better by the end of the week, just keep going.
Things started getting better in school and things at home where becoming tolerable.
Mom had met a guy called John, I thought he was ok, but i didnt particularly like him, He used to make me do things outside, try and make me work with him i.e man things and he could just be a plain old dick towards me some times. But he was good to mom so i was like what-eves like. Mom bought a house finally after renting for years, i hadnt seen her happier in ages, major stressed stil but at least she was happy and geting her life on track, 3rd year im guessing this was. I had my friends in school and our house was being built, mom still with john, Still drinking just not as heavily. I knew i was gay at this point and had been like messing round with a friend from school. Mom and john broke up, He was good for mom but just not meant for mom, she would never have been able to organize and build the house the way she wanted if it wasn't for him, but her drinking started again. Her and my sister had never been bessies or got along but it was ridiculous at this stage, they still don't get on in all honesty, they barely even talk. Bronagh stopped being friends with a girl from school and she started bulling my sis. So eventually after being bet up in school and the school doing nothing she went to boarding school. I switched groups in school in 5th year which was the best thing that could have happened to me. They where a really lovely group of people and I was becoming more open and learning to trust in myself and become a person. Things at home where good, me and mom where getting on just fine. Mom still drinking but not hardly as much and it wasn't every night but i kept out of her hair and she kept out of mine. I have no hard feeling towards my mother, I may have not had the best childhood but she did her best. She has been through so much more in her life than i could ever imagine and the fact that she's still standing with an amazing house and a A+ job is a fucking testament to the woman and although she may have put her problems first, and maybe neglected ours at times she did her best, what more can i ask of her. I've always known she loved me and would kill for me.
Bronaghs 18th, she had her friends from school down, which resulted in the meeting of the James kavanagh. I wasn't out at this point but i think everyone pretty much guessed, James had his eye on me and we where friends for the night and that was that, but we some how started texting and became better friends.
OH also him and his friend jennifer paradise had a bet on who would get with me!=neither
6th year happened, i came out in school and at home. No biggies or drama so that was all good.
Still talking to james kav now and then and once he was down in galway for some reason so he met up with me and we went for coffee, He tried to get me to come back to his hotel room, but i was too much of a laday!
Summer of 6th year i was babysitting watching the paris eps of sex in the city while txting james and he informed me that he was going to paris with his friend anthony and asked me if i wanted to go. I dont know how or why my mom let me go to paris with a boy she had met once but she did, and i met anthony and we all lived happily ever after.
LE FIN
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